The First Time I Quit

About this time, our pastor in North Carolina, Brent Detweiler began a series of messages at church on the subject of anger. We had heard this series before at our church in Virginia. The gist was that anger is not a result of circumstances in your life, it’s a response to them. Circumstances are just like the props in a play. They happen to you and whatever is inside comes out.

The message came with an illustration of a cup with water. As the preacher bumped the cup, the water spilled out. But you decide what is in the cup by your attitude and decisions. Likewise, you decide what is in your heart. You either have anger in your heart or love and peace. Whatever is in there will be bumped out by the circumstances of life.

Also, if we truly believe that God in sovereign, if He really controls everything, then He has allowed all of the circumstances in our lives for a purpose. If we are angry at them, then we are really angry at God Himself.

The day Brent began the series, my family was back visiting in Virginia so I was by myself at church. George and his family were sitting closer to the front and I could see the back of his head. As Brent spoke, I kept looking at the back of George’s head, wondering what impact the message was having on him. I was wondering if he was connecting it to the way he had been acting.

I planned to go to a movie right after church. It was at a theater closer to church than our house so I thought I’d take advantage of being that way. As the service ended, I didn’t even want to see George. I went to make a quick getaway but as I did, I heard him calling my name.

        “Stephen”

I stopped and turned around.

        “Listen, I need to apologize you. That message was so convicting. It helped me realize how                     crazy-acting I’ve been. Will you please forgive me?”

        “Sure, George”

        “Really, I’m sincerely sorry. Will you forgive me?”

        “Okay, thank you.” We hugged and I went to see my movie.

Things got better…for a time. Then it started ratcheting up again. This time it got so bad that, after much tormented deliberation, I came to the conclusion that I had to quit. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I was thinking that maybe I would try to do dent repair in the Charlotte area.

Since George and I lived in the same neighborhood we often used to commute together. It was my turn to drive that fateful day and as I drove him home I told him about my decision. He was floored. I had become such an integral part of the company, he knew how difficult it would be to survive without me. I used to say every George needs a Stephen but there would be no place for a Stephen without a George.

When he understood how serious it was, he became very sober. He asked what it would take to change my mind. Mostly, it was the anger. I told him that I was also choking under the weight of the dispatching. We left it there and he said he’d get back to me in the morning.

Once again, George repented of his anger and also agreed to take the dispatching back. I was wary of his apology. Was this just going to be the same ol’ same ol’? But I certainly didn’t want to be without a job. 

Things did get better again. There was still a lot of pressure but George learned more control. There were still tense moments but things became a lot more bearable. Not having the dispatching was a huge weight off me. I took care of a lot of the details and started getting more into the billing side of things.


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