An Ordinary Life, An Extraordinary Life

Despite the time it had taken, I was finally at the end of the class requirements for my degree. I wasn’t really concerned about getting an official degree although, in hindsight, I see what an asset that would be now. But my goal at the time was to just get experience. Regent funded some films, the biggest of which were two, thirty-minute summer films each year. My goal was to direct one of those. To get that privilege, one had to do well in smaller class projects and serve as crew on other people’s films. I had done all that over the years and had built a small portfolio. Now it came time for me to apply to direct a summer film. As I had been around for so long, I had good rapport with the faculty who were to make the decision and I got the green light. There was also a competition for the scripts to be used for the summer films. The one chosen for me was written by one of the MFA students. It was called “Go Tell Mama”, partly based on a true story that happened to the writer about a...

Townhome communities tend to be more transient than neighborhoods with houses because there are a lot of rentals and people usually move on to buy something bigger. Laura struggled with that over the years as friends from church moved into our neighborhood then out to buy homes that we couldn’t afford. Neither did I really want to. I still liked a small, manageable place. Due to their transient nature and close proximity, townhome communities tend to lend themselves to plenty of what I’ll call FWN - Fun With Neighbors. I’ve found that in detached houses, neighbors can tend to stay aloof. But with a townhome, when you can hear what’s going on next door, it’s harder to stay isolated. Our townhome was one of the middle units in a line of four. Over the nine years we were there, we had a variety of neighbors – the homeschool family with five kids in the two-bedroom unit next door, the single dad with his son, the partiers with their thumping music and drunken yelling ‘til all hours of the ...

My international travelling days seemed to be over now. My job didn’t call for it, although I did start to ponder the possibility of a switch in position when I finished school, which might include travel. But a couple of opportunities did come up.  There was a guy named Kenny from YWAM who knew my family and had come to Regent University. He and his family also lived with the Browns and he also got the missionary scholarship. He had finished school and was now working freelance for CBN. The International Department decided to have him make some films and I got to help. They decided to shoot a film in London and Bombay and they asked me to do the sound. I was only too happy to oblige. Once again, I had some serious issues with jet lag in both countries but I pulled through. It was nice to go back to my favorite city and this time in India was rather different than the last. Since it was a business trip rather than a missionary one, we stayed in a nice hotel and had per diem. I also...

Our other big relationship falling out was with a couple in the church over one of the most sensitive issues in people’s lives – their children. Even though people from the same church have the same teaching about raising children, every couple will implement that teaching in their own way. Every family has their own unique characteristics. As we all began to have more children, we noticed how people did some things differently. As we believed that raising our children well was one of the most important things we could do, we believed it involved lots of time. Every parent has times when their kids drive them crazy but, in general, we loved being with ours. With this other particular couple, we noticed how they would often make other priorities that would separate them from their children. And even when they were with their children in a social setting, they often seemed to not even notice what their children were getting up to and other people had to correct them. I considered it my d...

Despite the deep sense of community we had found with others in Virginia, our friendships were not without conflict. In fact, we had a couple of pretty serious fallings out. We were friends with this one young couple with a young son who didn’t go to our church but we had known the guy from back in Hawaii.  The couple didn’t seem to have many other friends so it started to feel like they were getting overly attached to us. They would stop by on bike rides all the time and would constantly be asking if we wanted to do stuff. We certainly considered them good friends, enjoyed their company and they were very generous and kind to us. But the constancy was starting to feel a little claustrophobic.  Around this time, we had been asked if we could switch to a different Care Group. From time to time, the dynamics of a Care Group can become stale and it needs a reboot or just needs to disband all together. The one we were being asked to switch to was doing both. They were officially e...

Chapter Sixteen – Life Goes On Laura’s sister, Diana and her family had moved from California to south Florida for her husband’s job. Although it was a 16 hour trip, we could drive to visit them now instead of having to fly to California. At first we would go down for a Christmas here and a Thanksgiving there. When the kids were young, they required more attention, so I didn’t get to do much away from the house during our visits. Once they got older, I got to explore, as I am wont to do. As I love cities, my first exploration was Miami. There’s something about Florida cities that seem different to me. Rather than cities, they just feel like towns with big buildings. I felt like that in Jacksonville and Tampa and Miami felt the same. I drove around downtown, then out to Miami Beach, which is across a bay on some barrier islands. South Florida has a LOT of money. As you drive across the bay, there are small, private islands off the highway in the middle of the bay with amazing homes. Dri...

We still only had one vehicle, which often made it hard on Laura. There were other CBN employees who lived nearby with whom I would ride share. But if none were available and Laura needed the car, she had to get the kids up and drive me to work in the morning. It was time to try find another vehicle. Many young couples are aghast at the notion of buying a mini van. They think it gives them the aura of no longer being young and wild and free. They consider mini vans part of the conspiracy of domestication. We were not one of those couples. We were part of the practical, comfortable and easier mini van point-of-viewers. We were on the lookout for just such a ride, albeit on a very limited budget.  Car dealerships are notorious for sending out those sale mailings – you know the ones with the key that they try to entice you with to go try unlock the car but you will definitely win something if you just come to their dealership with the certificate? Well there’s a lot of psychology that...

Although Celebration was a great opportunity to get closer to people from our Care Group, we were also encouraged to get to know other people from our church outside the Care Group and from other churches too. For a while, Laura had been praying for a mentor-type friend - someone who was older, who had been through some of the things she was experiencing. As our children got older and Laura could get out more at Celebration, she came across another lady from our church named Suzie. Her daughter, Jennifer was doing a YWAM DTS in Australia. Suzie starting asking Laura all kinds of questions about the DTS experience and Laura gave her advice on what to expect when Jennifer got back. Jennifer was going to East Timor for her outreach and would be seeing some pretty rudimentary conditions. Oftentimes, when Westerners are exposed to extreme poverty, it can be hard for them to come back to a land of such plenty. They might feel sick and angry at the gluttony and waste compared to what they hav...

As we all had more kids in the Care Group, the moms wanted to get them all together. They started a play group, rotating to each other’s homes. It was as much for the ladies to get together as well, as they often felt stuck at home with little children. As the kids got older, Laura started an informal preschool with them. The Care Group had grown quite large by this point so they decided to split it. Our good friend, Rich Dalmas was going to be the leader of one of the groups and we stayed with him. He and I had become particularly close as we had been baring our souls to each other in the men’s accountability group these past several years.  The accountability group met once a week and there were usually three or four of us. But oftentimes it was just Rich and I and we made it count. He was a true friend, especially if I needed correction. In training our children, we were being taught about the importance of making sure our children heard and understood our instructions but I cou...