Funeral

One of my dad’s brothers in New Zealand had built some living space in his basement where we all stayed during the time of the funeral. Samuel brought his wife, Carol and new-born baby, Amber with him. It was nice to meet her for the first time.

We went to the funeral home where I saw my dad’s body. His was the first dead body I had ever seen and it was kind of freaky. I had this feeling that he was going to move, open his eyes, sit up or something. We each got to spend some time alone with him and I finally got up the courage to touch him, still half expecting him to freak me out by moving. Samuel said he actually kissed him goodbye.

My dad had had angina. Growing up in England, he had eaten a lot of deep-fried foods, which may or may not have given him the disease. He had been getting more tired as of late so while he was in New Zealand he had been to see a doctor. 

He had had great metabolism and for years he had kept a very disciplined exercise regimen. But the doctor told him that his body showed signs of a gone-to-seed athlete. He told him that because he had always done the same exercises, he had never challenged his body. He recommended that he start jogging but without giving him a stress test first. People told us he should have done that before recommending any such thing.

Others thought we should have sued the doctor but we believed the timing of his death was in God’s hands. He was a very driven and energetic man. Surviving a heart attack with disabilities would have driven him crazy. He had given so much and though it seemed like he had much more to contribute, God seemed to have other plans. He was 54.

The funeral was held at a non-denominational church we had gone to when we lived in New Zealand. They had supported us financially through the years. Many people attended and it was a great tribute to his life and work. My mom and brother spoke but I was emotionally unable. One of his brothers also spoke and his elderly mom. She took it very hard and died herself just a few months later.

Our time in New Zealand wasn’t all sadness. We got some recreation in, visiting a farm with a show where you could milk a cow which I squirted around. We also went to a place you could ski down a small hill on some kind of plastic ski slope. My childhood neighborhood friend, Allysa and her mom came to visit, as well as a couple of friends from our Hawaii days.

As Samuel and I had enjoyed our time dancing in Hong Kong, we decided to go to a club in downtown Auckland. It took us a while to get down there and when we finally did there was a problem. They did not allow any denim and guess what Samuel was wearing? He felt so bad, telling us to go ahead and that he would just wait for us. We wouldn’t hear of it. We went all the way back to the house for him to change, returned to the club and danced the night away.

My last picture of my nanny with Samuel